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THE FAMILIAR WATER TOWER AT THE OLD ANITEC SITE IN THE FIRST WARD CAME TUMBLING DOWN YESTERDAY. IN ORDER TO BRING DOWN THE TOWER, DEMOLITION CREWS:
a)used explosives
b)used a wrecking ball
c)removed a single brick from the side of the building
THE NEW YORK STATE PUBLIC COMMISSION SAYS IT'S TRYING TO GIVE CONSUMERS MORE INFORMATION AS THE STATE PHASES IN A COMPETITIVE MARKETPLACE FOR ELECTRIC COMPANIES. RESIDENTS WILL SOON BE ABLE TO TELL WHETHER THEIR ELECTRICITY COMES FROM:
a)coal
b)hydropower
c)California
STATE SENATE MAJORITY LEADER JOSEPH BRUNO IS CALLING FOR NEW YORKERS TO BUY ENERGY CONSERVATION PRODUCTS AVAILABLE AT MOST HARDWARE STORES. HE SAYS AS MUCH AS HALF A HOME HEATING BILL CAN BE CUT USING:
a)pipe wraps
b)automatic thermostat adjustment devices
c)gasoline and a single match
AOL AND TIME WARNER HAS GOTTEN THE APPROVAL TO TAKE THE TWO SEPARATE ENTITIES AND CREATE ONE $106 BILLION OPERATION. THE JOINT VENTURE WAS FINALIZED YESTERDAY WHEN THE FCC SAID:
a)AOL would have to open up it's Instant Messaging service to competitors
b)AOL and TIme Warner could combine provided they didn't seek exclusive deals with other large corporations
c)You've got merger!
THE VILLAGE OF JOHNSON CITY HAS RECEIVED IT'S FIRST CORPORATE DONATION TOWARD REPLACING A SPECIALIZED MOTOR BOAT FOR RIVER RESCUE WORK. THE CURRENT BOAT WAS TAKEN OUT OF COMMISSION BECAUSE:
a)there's a leak in the hull
b)the boat has a serious stress crack
c)someone misplaced the megaphone used to yell "Stroke! Stroke!"
DUE TO FAILING BRAKES, KAWASAKI MOTORS CORPORATION IS RECALLING ABOUT 18-THOUSAND MOTORCYCLES. THE RECALLED MOTORCYCLE IS THE 2001:
a)KX Motocross Series vehicles
b)JX Motocross Series vehicles
c)BX No Brake Series vehicles
THE COMPANY THAT MAKES THE EVERGREEN-TREE-SHAPED AIR FRESHNERS THAT KEEP CARS SMELLING NICE IS PLANNING ON MOVING IT'S HEADQUARTERS IN WATERTOWN, NEW YORK. THE NEW BUILDING WILL:
a)house more space
b)allow for expansion
c)smell nicer
INVESTIGATORS ARE TRYING TO TRACK THE WHERE-ABOUTS OF THE FORMER OPERATORS OF THE CHESTNUT INN. G&D HOSPITALITY SHUT DOWN THE INN, STIFFING HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO MADE DEPOSITS ON THE INN, AS WELL AS THE OWNERS OF THE PROPERTY. G&D HOSPITALITY'S OWNERS:
a)have responded to questions by the state Attorney General
b)have tried to raise the money to reimburse people who had reserved the inn
c)are just so sick about it all, they've barely been able to enjoy their bungalow in the Figi islands
A SUPERMARKET CHAIN IS RECALLING A BRAND OF KRINKLE-CUT POTATO CHIPS. THE STORE IS CALLING BACK THE PRODUCT BECAUSE IT MAY CONTAIN:
a)a peanut ingredient not noted on the packaging
b)a preservative not noted on the packaging
c)too much krinkle
GRAND UNION SUPERMARKETS WILL BE SOLD TO A VERMONT COMPANY. THE PROSPECTIVE NEW OWNER, C&S WHOLESALE GROCERS, SAID IT HAS:
a)signed a letter of intent
b)has entered into discussion with Grand Unions owner
c)will finalize the deal as soon as they conclude a price check
THE COMPANY MADE FAMOUS BY ELMER'S GLUE HAS ANNOUNCED LAYOFFS FOR ONE OF IT'S AGING PLANTS IN CHENANGO COUNTY. OFFICIALS AT ELMER'S PRODUCTS INCORPORATED SAYS THE 97-YEAR-OLD BUILDING:
a)can't accomodate modern equipment
b)can't be renovated to meet safety standards
c)is being held together by Elmer's glue
RESIDENTS AND PROPERTY OWNERS IN THE VILLAGE OF OWEGO WILL BE GETTING A SURVEY THROUGH THE MAIL ASKING THEM WHAT THEY'D LIKE TO SEE IN THE WAY OF IMPROVEMENTS IN THE VILLAGE. SOME EARLY FEEDBACK TO THE SURVEY HAS DETERMINED THAT MOST VILLAGE RESIDENTS WANT:
a)more community oriented activities
b)more community development
c)free food and gas, no taxes, no government and an unlimited supply of beernuts
MONDAY WILL BE A BIG DAY FOR LOCKHEED MARTIN IN JOHNSON CITY AS THE COMPANY'S NEW OWNERS WILL BE OFFICIALLY TAKING OVER. ALSO ON MONDAY, THE COMPANY WILL BE UNVEILING THE NEW SIGN WITH THE NEW NAME:
a)British Aerospace
b)BAE/Lockheed Martin
c)British Aerospace/General Electric/Lorral/Lockheed/Lockheed Martin/Martin Marrietta of Main Street/17C/George F. Highway in Westover/Town of Union/
Johnson City/Lestershire
(ACCORDING TO THE PRESS & SUN-BULLETIN) THE DENNYS RESTAURANT IN VESTAL WILL BE CLOSING IT'S DOORS FOR NINE DAYS STARTING OCTOBER 9TH FOR
REMODELLING. IT'S PART OF A COMPANY-WIDE PLAN TO BECOME A 1950S STYLE DINER. THE CHANGES TAKING PLACE WILL INCLUDE:
a)bright colors
b)rock and roll jukeboxes
c)wait, you mean Denny's doesn't look like the 1950s now?
UNITED WAY OF BROOME COUNTY HAS RECEIVED A GRANT OF MORE THAN $12,000 DOLLARS FROM THE VERIZON FOUNDATION. THE MONEY WILL BE USED TO:
a)organized and steer a working group of computer technology centers
b)offer after school programs to students
c)pay their phone bill
NEXT WEEK, BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL WILL TAKE UP A 100-THOUSAND DOLLAR LOW-INTEREST LOAN FOR HAWK ENGINEERING. THE COMPANY PLANS TO:
a)move into the former Cahill building in downtown Binghamton
b)add new furniture and equipment to their business
c)change their name to Whale Engineering
THE ENDWELL POST OFFICE IS HAVING PHONE PROBLEMS. WHILE THE POST OFFICE IS OPEN, NOBODY CAN BE REACHED VIA PHONE. THE PROBLEM IS:
a)a bad ringer
b)phone line into the building needs to be replace
c)phone bill check got lost in the mail
BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL NEXT WEEK MAY VOTE ON A PROPOSAL FOR THE CITY TO BUY APPROXIMATELY 75-HUNDRED STREET LIGHTS FROM NYSEG. THE LIGHTS WILL BE USED:
a)as replacement fixtures for broken lights in the city
b)as a way of saving the city on lighting costs
c)at Municipal Stadium to make it even MORE blinding
GENERAL MILLS IS PLANNING ON ACQUIRING PILLSBURY FOR $10.5 BILLION IN STOCK AND CASH. GENERAL MILLS IS MAKING THE ACQUISITION BECAUSE:
a)It would create the largest publicly traded US food company
b)The 2 food giants would be able to compete with larger food companies like Nestle,Kraft/Nabisco and Philip Morris
c)They're doing it for the dough...boy!
THE MID-TOWN MALL BUILDING ON COURT STREET HAS A NEW OWNER. AFTER CITY COUNCIL APPROVAL, THE NEW OWNER CAN MAKE NECESSARY RENOVATIONS SO THAT THE PROPERTY CAN BECOME:
a)a new site for shops
b)office space
c)a really nice looking abandoned building
A PROJECT TO CREATE A "LITTLE ITALY" NEIGHBORHOOD IN ENDICOTT HAS SUCCEEDED IN IT CAMPAIGN TO RAISE $10,000 TO QUALIFY FOR A MATCHING GRANT FROM VISIONS FEDERAL CREDIT UNION. THE TARGET AREA FOR LITTLE ITALY IS THE 100 BLOCK OF OAK HILL AVENUE AND IS BEING ORGANIZED BY:
a)Beth Putrino
b)Louis Augustini
c)Saul Goldmanblatt
THE CITY OF BINGHAMTON HAS CONDEMNED EIGHT PHILADELPHIA SALES WAREHOUSES ON BOTH SIDES OF THE MAIN BUILDING ON CLINTON STREET. MAYOR BUCC SAYS THE WHOLE COMPLEX IS IN A STATE OF FORECLOSURE WHEREBY:
a)the Mayor wants to tear down the buildings
b)the Mayor wants to evaluate the state of the buildings for renovation
c)Phillys is having a sale!!!
THE NEW YORK STATE BANKING DEPARTMENT HAS A NEW SECTION ON ITS WEBSITE WHICH PROVIDES CONSUMERS INFORMATION ABOUT THE COSTS OF CHECKING ACCOUNTS. THE SITE ALSO PROVIDES DIRECT LINKS TO:
a)individual institutions
b)more consumer information
c)embezzling millions
ENDICOTT MAYOR MICHAEL COLLELA IS TRYING TO SETTLE A DISPUTE WITH THE OWNER OF A MARTIAL ARTS SCHOOL THAT WANTS TO MOVE INTO THE OLD A&S FURNITURE BUILDING ON WASHINGTON AVENUE. THE DISPUTE STEMS FROM THE ENDICOTT HISTORICAL SOCIETY WHO SAY HISTORICALLY, THE TENANT OF THE BUILDING:
a)must retain certain features it deems important to the historical integrity of the A&S building
b)must retain a certain look that will not clash with other businesses
c)must hold weekly going out of business sales
UNEMPLOYMENT IN THE BINGHAMTON AREA DROPPED TO 2.9%. THAT'S THE LOWEST UNEMPLOYMENT RATE SINCE 1988. THE REASON IS:
a)more jobs
b)more recruiting
c)all the unemployed people MOVED!!!
BINGHAMTON MAYOR RICHARD BUCCI SAYS THE CITY WILL IMMEDIATELY BEGIN THE PROCESS OF DEMOLISHING THE PUBLIC WORKS SANITATION GARAGE AT ROBINSON STREET AND THE BRANDYWINE. IN ORDER TO BRING THE BUILDING DOWN, DEMOLITION CREWS WILL:
a)use explosives
b)use a wrecking ball
c)drop a single feather on the roof
BINGHAMTON INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OFFICE IS MOVING FROM IT'S CURRENT LOCATION IN THE FEDERAL COURTHOUSE. THE DOWNTOWN OFFICE WILL SOON BE RELOCATED TO THE
METROCENTER. THE REASON THE IRS IS MOVING IS:
a)to make additional space at the courthouse
b)to find larger space at the Metrocenter
c)they owe back-rent
ACROSS NEW YORK STATE, FIRE COMPANIES ARE FACING FEWER AND FEWER PEOPLE
VOLUNTEERING. STATE FIRE ADMINISTRATOR JAMES BURNS SAYS:
a)some are wondering if volunteer fire companies can survive
b)more recruitment efforts need to be done
c)yes, that is my real name!!!
LOCKHEED MARTIN IS CHANGING THE NAME OF ITS POSTAL SYSTEMS BUSINESS UNITE...BASED IN OWEGO. THE COMPANY WAS LOOKING FOR A NEW NAME TO REFLECT A BROADER CUSTOMER BASE EMERGING FROM E-COMMERCE MARKETS. SO EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY THE NEW NAME WILL BE:
a)Lockheed Martin Distribution Technologies
b)Lockheed Martin Postal Systems, Technologies and E-Commerce
c)Chuck!
HUNDREDS OF TEACHERS WILL SKIP CLASS TODAY TO RALLY IN ALBANY FOR LEGISLATION THAT COULD MAKE SCHOOLS SAFER. THE NEW YORK STATE UNITED TEACHERS EXPECTS ABOUT 500 EDUCATORS TO:
a)take part in the statewide skip day
b)show up for the rally
c)get mugged on unsafe Albany streets
GROUND WILL BE BROKEN TODAY FOR A NEW TRAINING
FACILITY FOR THE BINGHAMTON FIRE DEPARTMENT. THE CENTER WILL GO UP:
a)on Belden Street
b)on Griswold Street
c)in flames
UPGRADES TO ROUTE 17 TO BRING IT TO INTERSTATE STATUS IN THE SOUTHERN TIER ARE INCLUDED IN GOVERNOR PATAKI'S SPENDING PLANS FOR NEW YORK THIS YEAR. THE UPGRADE WILL:
a)enhance tourism efforts
b)enhance economic development in the region
c)enhance summer traffic gridlock on 17 to go with the summer traffic gridlock on 81.
GOVERNOR PATAKI UNVEILED HIS STATE BUDGET PROPOSAL WHICH INCLUDED FUNDING TO COMPLETE I-86. IN THE PROPOSAL, KAMAKAZE CURVE, BY 2009, WILL BECOME:
a)Kamakaze Flyover
b)Kamakaze Tunnel
c)Kamakaze Airborne
NEW YORK STATE DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION SAYS THAT TRAFFIC WILL BE SHIFTED TO ONE LANE IN EACH DIRECTION ON 17 BETWEEN JOHNSON CITY AND ENDICOTT. ADDITIONALLY 6 RAMPS WILL BE CLOSED INCLUDING 3 OF THE 4 ACCESSING ROUTE 26. FURTHER COMPLICATING THINGS WILL BE:
a)routine overhead sign inspections being done this week
b)construction on more east-west highways
c)explaining to out-of-towners how to get to Vestal by taking the JC Circle
BRAD FAXON WILL BE BACK TO DEFEND HIS BC OPEN TITLE THIS YEAR. FAXON COMMITTED TO PLAYING THE OPEN AFTER:
a)turning down offers for other tournaments
b)failing an attempt to qualify for the British Open
c)his car became trapped in Route 17 traffic on his way to Elmira
CRAIG STADLER HAS COMMITTED TO PLAY IN THE BC OPEN NEXT WEEK AT EN-JOIE GOLF CLUB. PLAY BEGINS THURSDAY AS PROFESSIONAL GOLFERS VIE FOR:
a)$2 million
b)$3 million
c)finding an open ramp from 17 to Endicott
THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION HELD A PUBLIC INFORMATION MEETING ON JUNE 13TH TO INTRODUCE A PROJECT TO RECONSTRUCT ROUTE 11 IN THE TOWNS OF DICKINSON AND CHENANGO. THE PURPOSE OF THIS CONSTRUCTION IS TO:
a)rebuild the pavement
b)install new sewage lines
c)screw up traffic
NEW YORK STATE DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION IS ANNOUNCING SOME CHANGES TO IT'S ORIGINAL PLAN TO CLOSE SIX ROUTE 17 EXIT RAMPS. SOME RAMPS WILL NOW BE OPEN INTERMITTENTLY. THE ORIGINAL PLAN WOULD HAVE PUT A BIG STRAIN ON BINGHAMTON WITH UPCOMING TOURIST EVENTS INCLUDING:
a)BC Open
b)Empire State Games
c)Binghamton Police Departments Semi-Annual Running of the Hookers
VOTERS IN BROOME COUNTY'S THIRD LEGISLATIVE DISTRICT WILL GO BACK TO THE POLLS NEXT MONTH. THE NOVEMBER ELECTION PRODUCED A TIE FOR THE TWO CANDIDATES, SO GOVERNOR PATAKI HAS SET FEBRUARY 20TH AS THE DATE FOR A SPECIAL ELECTION. VOTERS WILL HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEN
a)Donna Lupardo
b)David Lindsey
c)Guppo the Happy Grass Carp
THE BROOME COUNTY LEGISLATURE, THIRD DISTRICT PRODUCED NO WINNER IN THE ELECTIONS, AS INCUMBENT DONNA LUPARDO AND CHALLENGER DAVID LINDSEY WERE TIED. THE LEGISLATURE IS EXPECTED TO APPROVE A MEASURE ASKING THE GOVERNOR TO CALL:
a)a special legislative vote
b)a special election
c)a special sudden death lightning round of Plinko
A STATE ASSEMBLYMAN SAYS HIS BILL TO BAN THE USE OF HAND-HELD CELL PHONES BY DRIVERS THROUGHOUT NEW YORK STATE HAS A GOOD CHANCE OF BECOMING LAW THIS YEAR. BROOKLYN DEMOCRAT FELIX ORTIZ SAID VIA THE PHONE:
a)the bill is currently in the State Senate
b)the law will help make the roads safer
c)hold on a second, I've got to switch lanes
FIVE DEFENDENTS IN BROOME COUNTY'S LARGEST-EVER WELFARE CASE PLEADED INNOCENT TO FELONY CHARGES ALLEGING THEY HELPED THEIR WIVES BILK THE WELFARE SYSTEM OUT OF TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. IF THEY ARE FOUND GUILTY THEY WILL:
a)get deported
b)perform community service
c)go to prison and live off tens of thousands of dollars in government money
STATE ASSEMBLYMAN FELIX ORTIZ OF BROOKLYN IS TRYING TO GET LEGISLATION THAT WILL MAKE A FELONY OUT OF DRIVING IN FATAL ACCIDENTS WHILE TALKING ON HAND-HELD CELL PHONES. HIS PROPOSAL:
a)was unveiled yesterday
b)was set for voting
c)was defeated because someone didn't know that the vote had been moved up because they didn't answer their cellphone on their way to work!!!
ANOTHER NEW LAW BEGINNING ON JANUARY 1ST IS THE REDUCTION OF THE "MARRIAGE PENALTY". THE NEW LAW WILL INCREASE:
a)the standard deduction for married couples filing joint returns
b)the standard deduction for married couples filing separate returns
c)the number of additional hours married guys can stay out bowling
A BINGHAMTON DENTIST PLEADED GUILTY TO GRAND LARCENY FOR FALSELY BILLING MEDICAID. NOW HE WILL HAVE TO:
a)pay over 80-thousand dollars
b)submit to the Dental board for review
c)undergo a root-canal whether he needs one or not
THE HOUSE VOTED AGAINST A BILL THAT WOULD OUTLAW INTERNET GAMBLING YESTERDAY. THE LAW WOULD HAVE FORCED US-BASED INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDERS LIKE AOL TO CUT OFF CONNECTIONS TO INTERNET GAMBLING SITES. THESE SITES GENERALLY FEATURED BETTING ODDS ON:
a)football
b)basketball
c)the B-Mets staying in Binghamton
A SECOND MEETING WILL BE HELD TONIGHT BETWEEN THE CITY OF BINGHAMTON AND BINGHAMTON UNIVERSITY TO CONSIDER WAYS TO REDUCE UNDERAGE DRINKING. THE CITY'S DIRECTOR OF COMMUNITY RELATIONS, RICH DAVID SAYS:
a)the study is not aimed at either B.U. or B.C.C., but all underage drinkers
b)we're getting together with places that sell alcohol to try and find out what the problems are
c)Yes I am that guy who used to be on Channel 12, and No Matt Friedman is not my twin brother!
THE PENNSYLVANIA LIQUOR CONTROL BOARD IS GOING TO INSTALL NEW CASH REGISTERS WITH DEVICES THAT CAN DETECT FAKE ID'S. THE PROJECT IS INTENDED TO:
a)prevent identity theft
b)prevent youths from buying alcohol illegally
c)prevent older women from lying about their age
FBI CRIME STATISTICS SHOW THE CHANCES OF GETTING ARRESTED FOR MARIJUANA USE OR POSSESSION ARE BETTER IN NEW YORK THAN IN ANY OTHER STATE EXCEPT ALASKA. THE REASON FOR THE HIGH NUMBER OF ARRESTS IS BECAUSE:
a)New York has tough drug laws
b)New York City alone has the largest population
c)New York State is going to pot
ANTI-SMOKING GROUPS ARE URGING THE NEW YORK STATE LEGISLATURE TO APPROVE A NEW BILL AIMED AT REQUIRING THE MARKETING OF SO-CALLED FIRE -SAFE CIGARETTES IN NEW YORK. REPORTS SAY THAT THESE KINDS OF CIGARETTES WILL EXTINGUISH THEMSELVES AFTER:
a)five minutes
b)ten minutes
c)your house burns down!!!
BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL APPROVED NEW REGULATIONS FOR TAXICABS LAST NIGHT. HOWEVER ONE COUNCILMAN SAID THE CITY WAS GOING TOO FAR WHEN IT REQUESTED THAT ALL CAB DRIVERS HAVE:
a)a search of their motor vehicle records
b)a criminal background check
c)a body cavity search
NEW YORK STATE SENATE IS EXPECTED TO ACT ON LEGISLATION THAT WOULD MAKE IDENTITY THEFT A CRIME. THE BILL WOULD PENALIZE THOSE WHO KNOWINGLY OBTAIN IDENTIFYING INFORMATION OF ANOTHER PERSON WITH THE INTENT TO USE THE INFO WITHOUT THE PERSON'S CONSENT. THE BILL WAS INTRODUCED BY:
a)State Senator Thomas Libous
b)Senator John Marchi
c)State Senator Abraham Lincoln
DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL CONSERVATION HAS SENT OUT AIR POLLUTION VIOLATION NOTICES TO UTILITIES OPERATING SIX COAL-BURNING POWER PLANTS IN NEW YORK INCLUDING NYSEG AND NIAGARA MOHAWK. THE UTILITY COMPANIES ARE ACCUSED OF VIOLATING THE FEDERAL CLEAN AIR ACT. AS A RESULT:
a)fines will be paid by these utilities
b)the utility companies will appeal
c)power and gas will be shut off to the Department of Environmental Conservation
A STATE LAWMAKER SAYS ANOTHER EFFORT WILL BE MADE TO REPEAL PENNSYLVANIA'S HELMET LAW THIS YEAR. SCORES OF BIKERS RALLIED IN THE RAIN AT THE CAPITOL YESTERDAY AND AFTER MEETING WITH SENATORS:
a)threw a party saying this could be a victory
b)encouraged all biking enthusiasts not to give up
c)went home not feeling well because they had no protection on their heads.
THE STATE SENATE APPROVED A BILL YESTERDAY THAT WOULD
MAKE IT A FELONY FOR AN ADULT TO PROVIDE PERSONS UNDER 21 WITH LARGE AMOUNTS OF
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES. AFTER THE PASSING OF THAT BILL, THE SENATE MOVED ONTO:
a)a bill that would regulate electric prices
b)a bill that would regulate public parking for tractor trailers
c)a kegger
THE CITY OF BINGHAMTON IS HOLDING A SPECIAL MEETING
TONIGHT TO AMEND A CITY LAW ON OUTDOOR COOKING. THE CHANGE WOULD PERMIT
ESTABLISHMENTS:
a)to have barbeque grills on the sidewalks
b)to have barbeque grills in public places
c)to use real meat in their wieners
Y-B-L WORLD-WIDE TRADING INCORPORATED IS VOLUNTARILY RECALLING NINE-POINT-TWO OUNCE PACKAGES OF "YUMMY SESAME CAKES" BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN UNDECLARED:
a)peanuts
b)sesames
c)yummies
NEW YORK STATE HAS A NEW WEBSITE TO HELP PEOPLE FIND AFFORDABLE HOUSING ON-LINE. THE ADDRESS IS:
a)www.dhcr.ny.us
b)www.affordable housing.org
c)www.shack.com
LOEWS CINEPLEX ENTERTAINMENT SAYS IT WILL CLOSE 112 OF IT'S OLDER MOVIE HOUSES IN THE U-S AND CANADA. THE MOVE WILL TURN ABOUT 675 MOVIE SCREENS DARK. THE CLOSING OF THE THEATRES IS BEING BLAMED ON:
a)economy
b)movie revenues being down
c)Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas
STARTING TODAY, THE U-S MINT WILL RELEASE OVER ONE BILLION COINS THAT SHOW A NEW YORK STATE EMBLEM. ON ONE SIDE OF THE COIN WILL BE THE STANDARD PICTURE OF GEORGE WASHINGTON, BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THE NEW YORK STATE COIN WILL BE A PICTURE OF:
a)the Statue of Liberty superimposed over an outline of the state
b)the Empire State building superimposed over an outline of the Brooklyn Bridge
c)Drugs superimposed over hookers
A CONCERT PROMOTER IS BALKING AT FIRE-SAFETY FEES AT AN ELMIRA VENUE. THE PROMOTER SAYS THE FEES MAY STOP HIS EFFORTS AT BRINGING THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS, THE TEMPTATIONS AND BUDDY GUY TO THE CITY'S CLEMENS CENTER. THE VENUE SAYS THAT THE FIRE SAFETY FEES GO TOWARDS:
a)protecting the building from fire
b)maintaining fire security devices
p)protecting the building from that notorious Righteous Brothers fire-eating routine
THE DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES SAYS THE ENDICOTT OFFICE IS BEING REMODELED. AMONG THE MOST GROUND BREAKING IMPROVEMENTS TO THE OLD OFFICE WILL BE:
a)digital license photo IDs
b)a modified system of service to cut down on long waits
c)a new decor to help highlight the orange computer screens
GOVERNOR PATAKI SAYS A NEW WEB SITE DESIGNED TO HELP PEOPLE FIND HIGH-TECHNOLOGY JOBS IN NEW YORK STATE APPEARS TO BE AN EARLY SUCCESS. PATAKI SAID YESTERDAY THAT THE WEB SITE HAS HAD 45-THOUSAND HITS IN IT'S FIRST TWO WEEKS OF OPERATION. THE WEB SITE IS AT:
a)www.high tech ny.com
b)www.job search.com
c)www.hi my name is bambi and i'm wearing a leather lab coat and nothing else.com
THE JOBLESS RATE IN THE BINGHAMTON AREA DROPPED TO 2.7 PERCENT LAST MONTH. THE STATE LABOR DEPARTMENT REPORTS THE REASON FOR THE INCREASE:
a)the local job industry continues to show growth
b)business in the city continues to grow
c)Park Diner took on a couple of new fry cooks
THE VESTAL PUBLIC LIBRARY WILL BE CLOSED ON MONDAY. LIBRARY OFFICIALS SAY THE ONE DAY CLOSING IS A RESULT OF:
a)duct cleaning
b)furnace cleaning
c)someone borrowed the keys to the building and their return are overdue
THE JOHNSON CITY HOLIDAY PARADE IS TONIGHT BEGINNING AT 7. VILLAGE POLICE SAY THAT MAIN STREET WILL BE CLOSED BETWEEN CARHART AVENUE AND BALDWIN STREET. VEHICLES PARKED IN THAT SECTION:
a)will be ticketed
b)will be impounded
c)will become a part of Johnson City's Parade of Towed Vehicles
NEW YORK STATE LOTTERY OFFICIALS SAID YESTERDAY THAT THE JACKPOT FOR SATURDAY'S MILLENNIUM MILLIONS DRAWING HAS CLIMBED TO $130 MILLION DOLLARS. IF YOU WIN THE JACKPOT, YOU WILL:
a)quit your job and move to a tropical island
b)Buy a mansion and invest in stocks
c)give one-half to the Dawn Patrol
NEW YORK STATE CONSUMER PROTECTION BOARD AND THE OFFICE OF FIRE PREVENTION AND CONTROL ARE URGING PEOPLE TO USE CAUTION WHEN USING ALTERNATIVE HEATING SOURCES THIS WINTER.
CONSUMERS SHOULD ESPECIALLY USE CAUTION IF THEY HEAT THEIR HOMES BY:
a)wood stove
b)kerosene heater
c)setting their house on fire
SIX COWS STEERED AWAY FROM THIS WEEKENDS DOWNTOWN BINGHAMTON RODEO PARADE. THEY FINALLY SETTLED ON THE LAWN OF AN APARTMENT COMPLEX, WHERE HANDLERS WERE HEARD SAYING:
a)yee-haw
b)get along little dogies
c)Who let the cows out? Moo Moo Moo!!!
COLDWELL BANKER GEORGE T. DECKER REAL ESTATE HAS TEAMED UP WITH THE ROSS PARK ZOO'S ADOPT AN ANIMAL PROGRAM. NEW HOMEOWNERS TO THE AREA WILL GET A CHANCE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE ZOO. THE ADOPT AN ANIMAL PROGRAM ALLOWS PARTICIPANTS TO GET:
a)a name plaque associated with an animal at the zoo
b)a certificate saying they are the proud parents of a zoo animal
c)a picture of Zoo Director Steve Contento getting mauled by a lion
THE NEW YORK STATE FAIR IS TRYING TO NEGOTIATE A NEW CONCERT DATE WITH TEEN SUPERSTAR CHRISTINA AGUILERA. AGUILERA WAS UNABLE TO PERFORM BECAUSE OF A LACK OF:
a)voice
b)attendance
c)talent
THE CENTRAL LIBRARY IN DOWNTOWN BINGHAMTON WILL BE SHUT DOWN FOREVER THIS EVENING. AT NINE P.M. WORKERS WILL:
a)prepare to move to the new library on Court Street
b)start an inventory of all material
c)close the doors gently, so they don't knock the building over
RESEARCHERS ARE SAYING THOSE WHO LAUGH AT WORK ARE MORE COMMITTED, MORE PRODUCTIVE AND MORE CREATIVE THAN THOSE WITH PURSED LIPS. THE STUDY SUGGESTS THAT THOSE WHO KID AROUND AT WORK ARE MORE LIKELY TO:
a)get promotions
b)report higher job satisfaction
c)get stabbed in the back by the person with pursed lips
ANOTHER MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY ASSOCIATION TELETHON IS IN THE HISTORY BOOKS. WIVT NEWSCHANNEL 34 CARRIED THE TELETHON LOCALLY AND PERHAPS THE BIGGEST HIGHLIGHT OF THE SHOW WAS:
a)raising a record $54.6 million dollars
b)Jerry Lewis singing a heartfelt and touching rendition of "You'll Never Walk Alone"
c)Steve Craig saying "That wraps up the telethon, Hollywood Squares is next"
THE PRICE OF HEATING OIL MAY DOUBLE THIS WINTER. SENATOR CHUCK SCHUMER WARNS THAT CONSUMERS MAY BE PAYING UP TO TWO-DOLLARS A GALLON, COMPARED TO LAST YEAR'S ONE-DOLLAR-31 CENTS. THE SENATOR IS URGING PEOPLE TO TAKE A STAND WITH OIL COMPANIES AND SHOULD:
a)find alternative energy sources
b)protest with a massive letter writing campaign
c)Freeze and Die!!!
THE REVOLVING DOOR WAS INVENTED ON THIS DATE IN 1888. OVER THE YEARS, THE REVOLVING DOOR HAS BEEN ASSOCIATED WITH:
a)luxury
b)status
c)the morning show on my old radio station
A NEW LAW IN NEW YORK STATE HAS GIVEN TOURISM OFFICIALS EXPLICIT PERMISSION TO PROMOTE ATTRACTIONS IN NEIGHBORING STATES. NOW NEW YORK STATE TOURISM BUREAUS WILL START PROMOTING OTHER STATE'S TOURIST ATTRACTIONS LIKE:
a)the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, Massachusetts
b)The Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
c)Toxic Waste Dumps in New Jersey
WICZ-TV HAS SIGNED ON A NEW SISTER STATION, WBPN CHANNEL 10 WHICH WILL FEATURE THE UPN NETWORK, FAMOUS FOR WWF SMACKDOWN AND STAR TREK: VOYAGER. WICZ IS CURRENTLY IN NEGOTIATIONS WITH TIME WARNER TO:
a)sell advertising
b)get programming for non-network scheduling slots
c)get the station on the cable somewhere between the 3 existing WB network stations
TOURISM OFFICIALS FROM SOME POPULAR NEW YORK DESTINATIONS SAY HIGH GASOLINE PRICES MAY NOT BE SUCH A BAD THING FOR THIS SUMMER'S SEASON. THEY SAID INSTEAD OF DRIVING WEST OR SOUTH THIS SUMMER, MANY BINGHAMTONIANS MAY DECIDE TO DRIVE THREE OR FOUR HOURS TO:
a)Niagara Falls
b)The Thousand Islands
c)Endicott
VOLUNTEER DIVERS IN LAKE GEORGE HAVE FOUND A COLLECTION OF FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR REMAINS AS THEY CONDUCT A FIRST-EVER INVENTORY OF THE LAKE BOTTOM. AND ONE OF THEIR RECENT DISCOVERIES:
a)a British warship known as a "Radeau"
b)rare French and Indian currency
c)KGB's ratings
THE CAROUSEL EXHIBIT WILL OPEN AT ROSS PARK IN BINGHAMTON THIS WEEKEND. PARK OFFICIALS SAY THE EXHIBIT HAS JUST BEEN RENOVATED AND IS DEDICATED TO:
a)the numerous carousels in the area
b)the rich history of the George F. Johnson family
c)the goings on in Binghamton City Hall
ABOUT 17 PERCENT OF SCHOOL NURSES IN NEW YORK SAY THEY KNOW STUDENTS WHOSE LEARNING AND BEHAVIOR ARE BEING AFFECTED BY ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTANTS IN SCHOOLS. THE GROUP THAT CONDUCTED THE SURVEY IS CALLING FOR SCHOOLS TO MINIMIZE POLLUTANTS LIKE:
a)use of pesticides
b)dangerous cleaning solutions
c)cafeteria food
MOTORISTS ARE EXPECTED TO SAVE MORE THAN ONE-POINT 35 MILLION DOLLARS BY FUELING UP AT NEW YORK STATE THRUWAY TRAVEL CENTERS THIS SUMMER. UNDER THE PILOT PROGRAM, THE THRUWAY AUTHORITY WILL REQUIRE MERCHANTS AT THE CENTERS TO REDUCE THEIR FUEL PRICES. THIS MEANS:
a)motorists should save about a nickel a gallon
b)motorists should save about ten cents a gallon
c)For the $1.80 toll charge, motorists should save about 50 cents a tank
FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, THE TOWN OF KIRKWOOD'S
WATER WAS JUDGED THE BEST TASTING WATER BEATING OUT OTHER COMPETITORS BY A WIDE
MARGIN. THE CITY OF BINGHAMTON'S WATER ACTUALLY CAME IN SECOND BEATING OUT THIRD
PLACE COMPETITOR:
a)the village of Endicott
b)Town of Chenango
c)Vestal swamp water
BROOME COUNTY EXECUTIVE JEFFREY KRAHAM SAYS THE LATEST
STATISTICS SHOW THE COUNTY'S RECYCLING RATE AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH. KRAHAM SAYS THE
FIGURE INCLUDES:
a)recyclables picked up from residents and businesses
b)recyclables retrieved from the County landfill
c)jokes used on the Dawn Patrol with Steve and Kathy
CITY OF BINGHAMTON IS COMPLETING THE SECOND WEEK OF
FLUSHING ITS WATER DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM THROUGH FIRE HYDRANTS. THE CITY IS DOING
THIS IN ORDER TO REMOVE:
a)iron deposits
b)lead deposits
c)any sign of real water that could get in the way of the city water's
summertime carp taste
DEAD SINCE A NEW YEAR'S DAY Y2K GLITCH, MOST EMERGENCY
PHONES ALONG THE NORTHWAY ARE FINALLY BACK IN ORDER. THE DECADE-OLD EMERGENCY
SYSTEM CONSISTS OF PHONES SET UP EVERY 2 MILES WHICH CONNECT DRIVERS TO:
a)state police
b)911
c)porn
(ACCORDING TO THE PRESS & SUN-BULLETIN) NORFOLK SOUTHERN OFFICIALS SAID THEY WILL REBUILD THE RAILROAD BRIDGES OVER FRONT STREET NEAR CLINTON STREET. THE PROBLEM WITH THE BRIDGES ARE:
a)showing sign of wear
b)low clearance for truckers
c)they clash with the decor of the decaying houses on Front Street
YOU MAY BE SEEING LESS ADVERTISING IN YOUR E-MAIL. A BILL THAT PROHIBITS SENDING SPAM HAS BEEN PASSED BY THE STATE SENATE.
GOVERNOR PATAKI WILL SIGN OFF ON IT:
a)after approved by the Assembly
b)after he gets back from his trip to Binghamton
c)provided it doesn't get accidentally get deleted from his SPAM infested e-mail.
TRAVELERS ARE NOW GETTING A CHANCE TO INFLUENCE WHAT AMENITIES THEY WILL HAVE ALONG THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE IN FUTURE YEARS. THE TURNPIKE COMMISSION HAS BEEN SURVEYING TRAVELERS AND THE #1 SUGGESTION IS:
a)more rest stops
b)more restaurants
c)a loan office so that travelers can get extra money for the jacked up amenities
THE NEW YORK STATE POLICE IN KIRKWOOD HAVE A NEW HOME. THE BARRACKS HAVE MOVED FROM ROUTE 11 TO 84 CRESCENT DRIVE, NEXT TO THE KIRKWOOD POST OFFICE. WITH THE NEW ACCOMODATIONS, THE AUTHORITIES CAN:
a)no longer watch out for dangling computer cables that decorated the old facility
b)no longer place mats over worn floorboards
c)now laugh freely about the Johnson City Police Department
JOHNSON CITY POLICE ARE OFFERING A CITIZEN'S POLICE ACADEMY ON THURSDAYS STARTING IN MARCH FROM 6:30-9PM. CITIZENS WILL LEARN:
a)the advantages of bike patrols versus car patrols
b)how to get a warrant to search for illegal drugs
c)how to push a fellow officer out of the way of falling ceiling debris
WITH THE HOLIDAYS QUICKLY APPROACHING, MAYOR HARRY LEWIS LIKES TO GIVE SOMETHING BACK TO THE PEOPLE WHO VISIT DOWNTOWN JOHNSON CITY. DURING THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, VISITORS WILL GET:
a)free metered parking
b)extra spaces in the village parking lot
c)a free souvenir chunk of the Johnson City Police Station
A MAN WHO MAY BE CONNECTED WITH FOUR CONVENIENCE STORE ROBBERIES WAS APPREHENDED BY POLICE 15 MINUTES AFTER ROBBING A STORE IN THE TOWN OF MAINE. THE MAN WAS NABBED BY POLICE WHEN:
a)he ran a red light
b)he was stopped on Route 17
c)he tried to rob a donut shop
EMPLOYEES AT BINGHAMTON'S MAIN POST OFFICE SPOTTED WHAT THEY CONSIDERED TO BE A SUSPICIOUS-LOOKING PACKAGE YESTERDAY MORNING. ENDICOTT BOMB SQUAD RESPONDED AND TOOK THE PACKAGE TO THE REMOTE AREA, UNPOPULATED AREA OF:
a)Tri-Cities Airport
b)a field near the County Landfill
c)the parking lot for the Chenango Plaza
THE BROOME COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT WILL OPEN IT'S FOURTH
SUBSTATION IN THE TOWN OF MAINE TODAY. THE MAINE SUBSTATION WILL FEATURE:
a)more visibility
b)better police protection
c)Ham and cheese with mayo just $2.99
THE VILLAGE OF JOHNSON CITY HAS ENTERED INTO NEGOTIATIONS ON A PIECE OF LAND THAT COULD
BE USED AS PART OF A NEW POLICE STATION. THE PIECE OF PROPERTY IS LOCATED:
a)on Avenue C
b)on Main Street
c)where they're rebuilding that Dunkin Donuts in Vestal
BINGHAMTON POLICE EARLY YESTERDAY ARRESTED SEVEN WOMEN AND ONE MAN ON PROSTITUTION CHARGES. THE ARRESTS WERE MADE BETWEEN 3:00 AND 6:30 IN THE MORNING WHICH MEANS:
a)the suspects were held for 24 hours
b)the suspects were taken to court
c)Steve was nowhere near the scene because I was live on-the-air!!!
THE NEW YORK STATE POLICE HAVE LAUNCHED THE BIGGEST RECRUITMENT EFFORT IN THEIR 83-YEAR HISTORY. AS PART
OF THEIR DRIVE, RECRUITERS WILL BE VISITING:
a)colleges
b)military bases
c)donut shops
AREA POLICE AGENCIES ARE GENERALLY REPORTING FEWER THAN NORMAL VANDALISM COMPLAINTS FOR HALLOWEEN NIGHT. AMONG THE CALLS, THE MOST FREQUENT COMPLAINT CAME FROM RESIDENTS WHO SAID:
a)their house had been egged
b)their house had been toilet papered
c)vandals had returned their Hillary signs
JOHN LESLIE KOKOCHAK WILL ANNOUNCE HIS RUN FOR VESTAL TOWN SUPERVISOR TONIGHT. THE REPUBLICAN SAYS PLANS FOR LEADERSHIP INCLUDE:
a)creating a financially sound town
b)creating a bipartisan town board
c)using that weight loss hypnotist to get the town board of trustees to do anything he wants
OFFICIALS IN BROOME COUNTY MAY DECIDE TO TAKE A SINGLE LUMP-SUM PAYMENT OF THE STATE'S TOBACCO SETTLEMENT MONEY. THE COUNTY'S #1 PLAN FOR THE MONEY IS TO:
a)pay off tens of millions of dollars in debt on the jail
b)spend money on a proposed Broome Community College project
c)finally fix the county office buildings broken down cigarette machine
NEW YORK GOVERNOR GEORGE PATAKI WILL SPEAK TO POLITICAL, BUSINESS AND CULTURAL LEADERS IN SWITZERLAND THIS WEEKEND. OFFICIALS SAID:
a)the Governor is going to talk about the American economy outside of DC politics
b)the Governor usually travels the world speaking on American politics
c)Say has anybody seen the suitcase full of budget surplus money
THIS MORNING'S PRESS AND SUN-BULLETIN REPORTS HOW BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL'S WEEKLY TELEVISED MEETINGS HAVE BECOME MUST-SEE TV. ON THE FRONT PAGE IS A PICTURE OF COUNCILMAN GORDON WACKETT ADDRESSING THE AUDIENCE WITH COMMUNITY WATCHDOG STEVE GARLOCK HOLDING UP A SIGN THAT SAYS:
a)When logic is your enemy
b)Truth is menace
c)Mr. Wackett, your fly is down
STATE LEGISLATORS ARE HEARING FROM ACADEMICS WHO WANT CHANGES IN GOVERNOR PATAKI'S PROPOSALS TO FUND HIGHER EDUCATION. ASSEMBLYMAN JAY DINGA SAYS ONE OF THE ISSUES IS:
a)full-time faculty funding
b)part-time faculty support
c)quite frankly the guy used big words and I couldn't understand a word he was saying!
BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL REGULARS WHO GENERALLY ARE USED TO TAKING TO THE MIC DURING THE PUBLIC COMMENT PERIOD AT THE BEGINNING OF MEETINGS ARE IN FOR A CHANGE. COUNCIL MEMBERS LAST NIGHT MOVED THE PUBLIC COMMENT PERIOD AT MEETINGS BACK TO:
a)the middle of the meeting
b)the end of the meeting
c)during the rolling of the closing credits on Channel 6s live coverage
BINGHAMTON ATTORNEY DOUGLAS DRAZEN HAS SUBMITTED A REQUEST FOR LEGISLATION TO THE CITY COUNCIL, CONCERNING THE PUBLIC COMMENT PERIOD DURING COUNCIL MEETINGS. THE LEGISLATION WOULD DENY THE CITY COUNCIL THE POWER TO RESTRICT PUBLIC COMMENT TO A PERIOD AFTER THE COUNCIL VOTES ON LEGISLATION. DRAZEN WANTS THE PEOPLE TO VOTE AND IF THEY SIDE WITH COUNCIL HE WILL NEVER SPEAK AT MEETINGS AGAIN. DOUG DRAZEN NOT COMMENTING AT COUNCIL MEETINGS IS LIKE:]
a)a dog without a bone
b)a bee without a flower
c)a unicorn without a chicken suit
BINGHAMTON MAYOR RICHARD BUCCI YESTERDAY REPRESENTED THE STATE CONFERENCE OF MAYORS IN A BRIEFING FOR LOCAL OFFICIALS HELD BY GOVERNOR
PATAKI. BUCCI SAYS THAT PERHAPS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT COMMENT BY THE GOVERNOR WAS:
a)his commitment to maintaining the sizeable increase in aid to cities
b)his commitment to sending more money to Binghamton
c)Hey Booch! You're fly is down!!!
(ACCORDING TO THE PRESS & SUN-BULLETIN) BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL HASN'T GOTTEN A RAISE IN TEN YEARS AND THEY SAY IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME TO GET ONE. SOME MEMBERS SAY THAT $7,500 IS AN ADEQUATE AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR THE TIME INVESTED. UNTIL COUNCIL GETS A RAISE THEY WILL:
a)continue to do what they get paid to do
b)continue probing when the time will be right for a raise
c)continue voting on whether they can afford to eat lunch that day
SOME NEW YORK STATE LAWMAKERS ARE CONCERNED THE STATE IS HEADED ON A ROUGH ROAD. YESTERDAY SOME LAWMAKERS WERE COMPLAINING THAT GOVERNOR PATAKI'S PROPOSED BUDGET:
a)will not address the needs of roads and bridges
b)will not address the needs of education
c)will end the world
LOUIS KAREDES, MANAGER OF THE RESTAURANT AT THE VILLAGE-OWNED ENJOIE GOLF COURSE, HAS TAKEN LEGAL ACTION AGAINST THE VILLAGE OF ENDICOTT FOR CANCELLING THE EXTENSION OF HIS CONTRACT TO RUN THE RESTAURANT AFTER THE PREVIOUS BOARD APPROVED THE EXTENSION AT ITS FINAL MEETING. KAREDES SAID:
a)the village is re-nigging on a legally binding agreement
b)Mayor Colella is trying to force me out by refusing to sign my contract
c)here Mr. Mayor...have a sandwich...no really
A SHARPLY DIVIDED BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL HAS DECIDED TO PERMIT PUBLIC COMMENT NEAR THE END OF ITS MEETINGS. RESIDENTS WEREN'T HAPPY WITH THE MOVE SAYING:
a)it's a dictatorship
b)this is a violation of our freedom of speech
c)quite frankly we don't know what they said because we left before the end of the meeting
NEW YORK STATE ASSEMBLY SPEAKER SHELDON SILVER IS ACCUSING GOVERNOR PATAKI OF TURNING HIS BACK ON PRE-KINDERGARTEN EDUCATION IN THE STATE. PATAKI RESPONDED BY SAYING:
a)Pre-K programs will do fine with the amount of money allotted
b)the Assembly Speaker doesn't know what he's talking about
c)Silver is a poopy head!!!
THE BROOME COUNTY LEGISLATURE VOTED DOWN THE SALARY INCREASE FOR COUNTY EXECUTIVE JEFF
KRAHAM. NEXT UP FOR THE COUNTY EXECUTIVE:
a)appeal the decision
b)take up the matter again in the next budget
c)two words: fry cook
THE BROOME COUNTY SHERIFF AND COUNTY CLERK WERE ALSO DENIED RAISES YESTERDAY. THEY'RE NEXT MOVE WILL BE:
a)appeal the decision
b)take up the matter again in the next budget
c)bum some money off Jeff Kraham...oh wait, he didn't get a raise either...never mind
NO NEW CONTRACT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO RUN THE RESTAURANT AT THE ENJOIE GOLF CLUB. THE ENDICOTT VILLAGE BOARD HELD OVER APPROVAL OF THE DEAL LAST NIGHT, WHICH MEANS:
a)the village will hear from other parties interested in running the restaurant
b)Mayor Colella will have to review the current deal
c)hungry golfers will STARVE!!!
YESTERDAY IN THE TOWN OF VESTAL, ABOUT 150 PEOPLE SHOWED UP TO A HEARING DEALING WITH VESTAL PARKWAY AND OLD VESTAL ROAD'S INCREASING TRAFFIC CONGESTION. THE MAIN COMPLAINT OF THE EVENING WAS:
a)all the shopping malls
b)all the traffic signals
c)trying to fit 150 cars in the Vestal Town Hall parking lot
BROOME COUNTY BUDGET GOT FINAL APPROVAL FROM THE LEGISLATURE YESTERDAY. THE COUNTY WILL BE LOWERING TAXES UNDER A MODIFIED AND APPROVED BUDGET PLAN. COUNTY EXECUTIVE JEFF KRAHAM SAID THE ADDITIONAL TAX CUTS WERE MADE POSSIBLE BY:
a)trimming salaries for county workers
b)trimming benefits for county workers
c)raising taxes for Democrats named Kowalchik
BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL DEMOCRATS WANT TO CHANGE OF A RECENT RULE THAT PREVENTS COUNCIL MEMBERS FROM ANSWERING THE PUBLIC'S QUESTIONS DURING COUNCIL MEETING. THE 4 DEMOCRATIC COUNCIL MEMBERS HAVE CHALLENGED COUNCIL PRESIDENT, THERESA
PALLESCHI, A REPUBLICAN AND HAVE VOWED TO TAKE THE MATTER TO:
a)the mayor
b)the courts
c)the Florida State Election Board
REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE ROBERT MOPPERT HAS RECEIVED A BIT OF A BOOST FOR HIS CAMPAIGN. YESTERDAY, MOPPERT RECEIVED THE ENDORSEMENT OF:
a)George Pataki
b)U-S Senator John McCain
c)Miss Piggy
BEGINNING TOMORROW NIGHT, THERE WILL BE FOUR PERFORMANCES OF "YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN" PERFORMED IN BINGHAMTON'S CITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS. PLAYING THE LEAD AS THAT LOVEABLE ROUND-HEADED PEANUT:
a)George Kurbaba
b)Bernie Sherady
c)Mayor Bucci
A SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR SAYS TONIGHT'S PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE BETWEEN AL GORE AND GEORGE W. BUSH COULD BE A KEY TO MOTIVATING THE UNDECIDED VOTE. A NATIONAL POLL RELEASED TODAY SHOWS 76 PERCENT OF LIKELY VOTERS WILL:
a)make a decision based on tonight's debate
b)watch the debate
c)watch Freaks and Geeks on Fox Family
A TASK FORCE IS RECOMMENDING THAT PROCEEDINGS IN THE STATE ASSEMBLY BE TELEVISED AROUND NEW YORK STATE ON CABLE TELEVISION STATIONS. IF THE PROPOSAL GOES THROUGH, STATE ASSEMBLY MEETINGS WILL BE SEEN ON:
a)Public Access Channel 6
b)C-SPAN2
c)Disney Channel
NEW YORK STATE COMPTROLLER H. CARL MCCALL SAYS THOSE RETIREES WHO ARE GETTING A BREAK IN THEIR PENSION COSTS SHOULD INVEST SOME OF THE MONEY THEY ARE SAVING. MCCALL SUGGESTED THOSE EMPLOYEES INVEST IN:
a)the deferred compensation program
b)a college savings program
c)the "Send H. Carl McCall All Your Money" Program
THE CITY OF BINGHAMTON WILL HOLD A PUBLIC FORUM THIS EVENING TO DISCUSS THE CITY'S BLUEPRINT FOR THE FUTURE. THE MAIN QUESTION ON THE AGENDA IS "WHAT DO WE WANT THE CITY OF BINGHAMTON TO LOOK LIKE IN THE FUTURE?" THE CITY'S ANSWER TO THE QUESTION IS:
a)a thriving business metropolis
b)business and small shops
c)bring the city's look into the 80s (the 1880s???)
BROOME COUNTY HAS A NEW WEBSITE. IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE COUNTY INFORMATION AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK. TO ACCESS THE SITE, GO TO:
a)www.broomeco.com
b)www.gobroomecounty.com
c)www.yes this county is really run by some guy named Kraham.com
RESIDENTS OF THE UNION-ENDICOTT SCHOOL DISTRICT VOTED JUNE
21ST TO APPROVE SPENDING $1.1 MILLION TO:
a)buy and renovate the EJ Footwear headquarters
b)install a new roof on the school building
c)install boating docks at Ty Cobb stadium
BINGHAMTON CITY COUNCIL HAS APPROVED A REQUEST TO CONDUCT A STUDY TO REDUCE ENERGY COSTS STARTING WITH CITY HALL. ONE OF THE EARLY RECOMMENDATIONS WAS:
a)re-insulate the building
b)install more energy efficient lighting
c)turn off Gordon Wacket when not using
JUNE 20TH WAS THE CONTROVERSIAL SCHOOL VOTE IN JOHNSON CITY. THE VILLAGE
WAS DIVIDED ON PLANS FOR A NEW SCHOOL BUILDING IN THE JOHNSON CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT. MAYOR HARRY LEWIS, WHO
HAD REMAINED SILENT UNTIL THEN SAID:
a)vote yes
b)vote no
c)quite frankly, we couldn't understand him since he forgot to put his teeth in again!
ENDICOTT VILLAGE TRUSTEE JOHN GREENE SAYS HE'S RUNNING FOR THE TOWN OF UNION BOARD. GREENE'S REASON FOR RUNNING IS:
a)a board seat is being vacated by Louis Caforio
b)Town of Union board is a move up the political ladder
c)he just wants to finally en-joie a game of golf
BALTIMORE SOLIDIFIED ITS CLAIM AS ONE OF THE BEST DEFENSES IN NFL HISTORY WINNING LAST NIGHTS SUPERBOWL 35. THIS MORNING:
a)the Ravens return to Baltimore with the Vince Lombardi trophy
b)the Ravens hold a news conference to discuss their victory
c)millions call off work with a GIANT case of the flu.
SUPERBOWL 35 IS SUNDAY, JANUARY 28TH IN TAMPA, FLORIDA WHERE THE NEW YORK GIANTS WILL TAKE ON THE BALTIMORE RAVENS. EXPERTS SAY THAT IN ORDER FOR THE GIANTS TO BEAT BALTIMORE, NEW YORK WILL HAVE TO:
a)maintain a strong offense
b)maintain a strong defense
c)try not to get a bad case of the giggles when they realize they're playing the former Cleveland Browns
MARYLAND'S GOVERNOR AND GOVERNOR PATAKI HAVE PLACED A BET ON THE OUTCOME OF THE SUPERBOWL. GOVERNOR PARRIS GLENDENING BET A BUSHEL OF MARYLAND CRABS. PATAKI BET A BUSHEL OF:
a)Long Island Little Neck clams
b)New York City Bagels
c)hookers
THE NEW YORK GIANTS ARE GOING TO SUPER BOWL 35 TO TAKE ON THE BALTIMORE RAVENS, SUNDAY, JANUARY 28TH. THE ONLY THING MORE EMBARRASSING THAN THE VIKINGS 41-0 LOSS IS:
a)The Oakland Raiders loss to Baltimore
b)Tennessee Titans and St. Louis Rams nowhere in sight
c)die hard Cleveland Browns fans
2 BASEBALL FANS WHO WON TICKETS ON A COMPETING RADIO STATIONS TICKET CONTEST WERE ARRESTED BY THE NEW YORK POLICE DEPARTMENT AFTER THE GAME. A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE PROSECUTERS OFFICE SAID THE TWO WERE ARRESTED FOR:
a)criminal mischief
b)criminal trespassing
c)bad taste in radio
BINGHAMTON METS GENERAL MANAGER R.C. REUTEMAN REFUTES CLAIMS BY ALBANY OFFICIALS THAT THE
B-METS WILL BE HEADING TO ALBANY. HOWEVER REUTEMAN ADMITTED THAT A DISCUSSION OF SALE DID TAKE PLACE BETWEEN A NEW YORK CITY GROUP AND:
a)himself
b)B Mets owners
c)Ballwinkle
MISS AMERICA CONTESTANTS ARE ARRIVING IN ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY TODAY FOR THE ANNUAL PAGEANT. TRADITIONALLY, THE STATE TITLEHOLDERS PULL INTO TOWN ON LABOR DAY FOR TWO WEEKS OF PRACTICE, BUT THE EVENTS WERE DELAYED THIS YEAR. THE PAGEANT DIDN'T WANT TO COMPETE WITH THE OLYMPICS BECAUSE:
a)it's a common courtesy to the Olympic games
b)most pageant contestants have a tie-in to the Olympics
c)everybody knows that most American men would rather watch some sweaty fat guy named Boris playing Table tennis.
SCIENTISTS SAY LAKES AND OTHER SWIMMING HOLES IN UPSTATE NEW YORK ARE UNUSUALLY CHILLY FOR EARLY SUMMER. LAKE GEORGE IN THE ADIRONDACKS IS ABOUT 10 DEGREES BELOW THE SUMMER TEMPERATURE BECAUSE:
a)lots of rain and cold nights this spring
b)the mountains have been colder
c)the Lake George merchants feel that if the water is too warm, the swimming will take away from people shopping!
(ACCORDING TO THE PRESS & SUN-BULLETIN) VESTAL IS HOPING TO IMPRESS VISITORS FOR THE EMPIRE GAMES COMING TO THE AREA THIS SUMMER. THE TOWN WILL DO THAT BY:
a)lining the Parkway with specially designed matching pots of flowers
b)lining the Parkway with banners and flags
c)synchronizing the traffic signals so that you can get from one end of the Parkway to the other without hitting single red-light
KENYEN NATIVE AND BINGHAMTON RESIDENT JAMES OIGARA ONCE AGAIN WAS THE WINNER OF THE 3RD ANNUAL KELLY LABARE 5K ROAD RACE IN ENDICOTT. OIGARA EASILY WON THE 5K AFTER:
a)a tight race with #2 runner Tom Gudas
b)pulling out ahead to lead all racers
c)stopping at the Surf and Turf for lunch, hosing down a couple of planes at the airport, playing a round of golf at En-Joie then casually jogging to the finish line.
(ACCORDING TO THE PRESS & SUN-BULLETIN) EXPERTS ARE SAYING THIS YEARS FALL FOLIAGE OUTLOOK IS BRIGHT. THEY'RE SAYING THE PEAK FOLIAGE SHOULD OCCUR DURING THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF OCTOBER. FOR A LISTING OF WHERE THE BEST FOLIAGE SITES ARE GO ON-LINE TO:
a)www.i-love-ny.com
b)www.fall-foliage-new york.com
c)www.watch-the-car-slide-off-the-road-on-wet-leaves.com
FALL FOLIAGE FANS WILL HAVE A TREAT. PENNSYLVANIA FORESTRY OFFICIALS SAY THIS YEAR'S RAINS WILL GIVE PENNSYLVANIANS A BETTER CHANCE TO SEE:
a)leaves falling on schedule
b)a wider variety of colors
c)cars sliding off the road on wet leaves
NEW YORK STATE OFFICIALS EXPECT TO GET SOME HELP IN COVERING THE COST OF FIGHTING THE MOSQUITO-BORNE WEST NILE VIRUS. THE FEDERAL CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION IS GIVING THE STATE:
a)nearly six million dollars
b)nearly eight million dollars
c)a case of no pest strips
THE WEST NILE VIRUS HAS SPREAD TO TWO MORE LOCATIONS IN ONONDAGA COUNTY. TWO DEAD CROWS FOUND IN THE SYRACUSE AREA HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE VIRUS. HEALTH OFFICIALS ARE MONITORING THE CROW POPULATION BY:
a)seeing where they live and breed
b)tracking mosquito larvae near forests
c)going to all City Council Meetings
BROOME COUNTY HEALTH OFFICIALS ARE CONTINUEING TO ASK RESIDENTS TO HELP CONTROL THE LOCAL MOSQUITO POPULATION. OFFICIALS SAYS THE PUBLIC CAN CURB THOSE PESKY INSECTS FROM COLLECTING BY:
a)disposing of tin cans and plastic
b)emptying any container that holds water
c)cancelling Binghamton City Council's Open Forum til the West Nile scare is over
THE BROOME COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT HAS TAKEN ACTION AGAINST MOSQUITOES IN BINGHAMTON BY HIRING THE ACME PEST CONTROL OUT OF DRYDEN. THE COMPANY WILL FIGHT THE MOSQUITOS WITH:
a)anti-larvae bacteria
b)granular baccillus
c)tiny boxes, that when opened, will let loose a retractable punching glove that will knock the mosquitoes into submission
ACME PEST CONTROL EMPLOYEES PLANTED BACTERIA-LACED PELLETS IN ABOUT 800 STORM DRAINS. WHEN THE MOSQUITOES EAT THESE PELLETS:
a)the bacillus sphaericus will kill the larvae
b)the bacteria will create a virus that will kill mosquitoes
c)a string attached to the pellets will dislodge a giant boulder which will then fall on a see-saw which will make a retractable hand strike a match thus setting off the dynamite that will blow the mosquitoes to smithereens!!!